Tomorrow never comes

Tomorrow is the procrastinator's best friend. How often are we faced with tasks that we dread or would rather not do, and so put off to tomorrow? That deadline, that phonecall, the dishes that need to be washed, or the hard conversation you need to have with a loved one. Yes, we put it off, and yet tomorrow does not make it any easier.

How many times have you sat behind a desk to complete some report and yet find yourself scrolling mindlessly on social media, getting the urge to take numerous breaks and snacks, and finding every other thing to do aside from the report? How many times have you had to deal with the pressure and stress of leaving something to the last minute, regretting having not done it earlier?

Whilst we may all go through bouts of postponing, delaying, or putting off tasks, a lifestyle of procrastination can rob you of potential achievements and successes. It can lead to a life driven by fear, insecurities and a lack of motivation. Proverbs 24:33 warns that; “a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest; so shall poverty come like a prowler, and your need like an armed man”.

Reflecting on this, and my own weaknesses, here are three strategies I have found helpful to fight procrastination and the urge to 'push it to tomorrow':

1. Take the first step

When faced with a challenging task, we often do not have the energy, do not feel motivated, or do not have the creative spark to get us going. We may be waiting to get the drive, motivation or a light bulb moment. Many times, this may not happen immediately. Often, after you have prayed for God’s help, you need to take that first step. It is in the action of stepping out, that God comes in to strengthen you, help you and uphold you with his righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10). In 2 Kings 4:1-6, the widow who had nothing but a jar of oil, had to start pouring it into the collected vessels to see God’s miraculous provision. Many a time, in writing (this blog), I do not have all the words, but I block out the time, and make a start with some thoughts. Soon enough, the rest follows. Do it even when you do not feel like it.

2. Have a vision for the future

We procrastinate because as humans we have a natural tendency to focus on the here and now. On the “me” of today rather than the “me” of the future. We forget that whatever we do or neglect to do today has an impact on our future. We live for moments of instant gratification, rather than sacrificing and pushing through to reap results in the future. Sometimes, we can fill ourselves with busyness and many tasks; we may need to refocus our priorities. Having a clear projection of the future and how our action today forms part of the small drops that make an ocean (in our life goals and destiny), can propel us into action. Galatians 6:7, reminds us that whatever a man sows, is what he reaps. We can only harvest what we plant. .

3. Can it be done today?

Make a habit of asking yourself this question whenever you hit a wall, and if it can be done, do it. In his best-selling book Getting things done, Dave Allen explains that we often put things off that could be done within a few minutes. He proposed that if it can be done in two minutes, do it immediately. Naturally I am someone who avoids conflict and would want to keep the peace. This means regularly delaying and putting off difficult conversations that need to be had but may not go down well. I know that leaving it for another day does not make it any easier, but the temptation to postpone is always there, as I so dread such conversations. What I have found is that delaying such conversations can rather worsen the situation. It is better to ‘bite the bullet’ and get it done. Matthew 6:34 tells us to not worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own. Perhaps this can be elaborated on - that if there is a ‘trouble’ that we can deal with today, do not add it to tomorrow’s ‘troubles’.

So, when faced with the temptation of procrastination, pray, plan, and prepare for the future. But most of all, let us lean on the spirit of Nike’s famous tagline and ‘Just do it’!

Lament

lament /ləˈmɛnt/

noun a passionate expression of grief or sorrow

To lament is to be vocal in expressing one's disappointment, pain, sorrow and even anger to God. It is a form of prayer; one I have recently become more familiar with. The Psalms have many chapters lamenting on shame, death, betrayal, and isolation. There are entire books of the Bible dedicated to this such as Lamentations and Habakkuk.

However many cultures, communities and churches do not encourage us to face and feel the pain of our circumstances. Certainly, I don't ever recall the topic of lament being addressed at church. We are often encouraged to put on brave face and a smile. We say: "It is well", "God is in control". Whilst this may be true, it is also very important to address the realness of pain and suffering one may be going through. It is important for people to have a safe space to cry out to God and ask "why'?. To say, " I am tired of praying about this over and over again", "I am emotionally drained", or "I don't feel your presence anymore".

To lament is not just to complain about what is wrong, but to turn to God. In turning to him, we lay down our specific complaint and pain. We ask God for help, and we choose to trust in him.

There is a way to "lament well", and the Psalms provide us with somewhat of a guide:

· Address God directly

· Honestly share how you feel and what the problem is

· Ask for help

· Declare your trust in God

Below is an example of a lament by Ann Weems, from her book Psalms of Lament:

A lament is a powerful form of prayer. We name what we see, mourn what has been lost, call out to God and ask for his intervention. Life is full of sorrows, challenges and times of darkness. Journalling laments can be a tool to get us through these difficult times and help us remain hopeful. Name your emotions, reflect, and pray earnestly.

May we draw close to God in our lament and may we find a flicker of light even on our darkest days.

No man is an island

One of my favourite feel good movies, “About a Boy”, starts with an excerpt from the popular game show “who wants to be a millionaire”. The host asks, who wrote the phrase “No man is an island?”, and the film goes on to show a thirty-something year old man who initially insists on an uncomplicated life with no attachments, commitments to other people or complicated emotions. Throughout the film, it turns out that he has something to give, in (reluctantly at first) helping a young boy who is bullied at school, and his mother who struggles with depression. Very soon it is a full house with imperfect people, who are there for each other, doing life together.

I have found that as one gets older, it can be hard to have true friends. People who would be there for you through thick and thin. With whom life is simple and those you can count on to come running to bail you out should you ever be in trouble. I heard someone once say, that no one talks about the miracle of Jesus having 12 close friends in his thirties!

The truth is, people can and will let you down. You will get hurt. There have been seasons where I have felt betrayed by people whom I had considered good friends. You may sometimes have to give up your own creature comforts for others around you. And like the protagonist in the film, may feel that life is more simply lived as an island with no complications.

We were however not made to be alone. People were made for relationships. God is relational, and as we are made in his image, we all yearn for companionship, a sense of belonging and togetherness. We flourish in the midst of others. We need the presence of others to get through dark and sorrowful times. I believe that for each of us, our God given destiny or purpose cannot be fulfilled in isolation. Whatever shape or form your purpose comes in, it would be to have some kind of impact on others. We were made to draw close to God, and to others around us :

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 15:12-13

As I recently turned a year older, and reflected on the people in my life, I resolved to do better in valuing relationship and being there for others. My heart was so full, reminiscing on the friends and family who accept me just the way I am: the good parts and the flaws, and remind me that I am enough.

I am so thankful for the friends that encourage me to keep going, even when life is hard. Those who call and remind me to pray. The friends with whom I laugh so hard that I get stitches, and the ones who always get into debates. Those with whom I have not have spoken in months or years, but we pick up right where we left, when we meet. Those in different parts of the world, and those that put up with my inconsistent communication patterns and do not give up on me.

There is a joy that comes with being with people who know you, accept you for who you are, and allow you to be yourself, but would also speak truth and hold you accountable. As Christians, we are encouraged to consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, to meet together and encourage each other (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Certainly there are those friends that would only be around for a season. Those that would let you down or break your heart. But don’t let that be a reason to build up walls (as I’m often tempted to do); choose your friends carefully, be optimistic, disciplined and intentional about developing true and deeper friendships. Set good routines of meeting together, and checking on each other. Forgive often.

You may have friends that are similar to you, but also have diverse friends that may teach you a different perspective or worldview. Have a friend who would push you out of your comfort zone, one whom you can learn from and another who can learn from you.

True friendship, as put by C.S. Lewis, is the greatest of worldly goods and the chief happiness of life (Collected Letters,174). Treasure friendship but most of all be a friend to others.

P.s. The quote 'no man is an island', is attributed to the poet John Donne.

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