A working progress (mid year reflections)

The month of July ushers in the second half of the year. I have heard many remark on how quickly the year seems to be flying by (this may be symptomatic of getting older). For me July is extra special because it is also my birthday month.

Most years, the build up to July and my birthday is that of excitement, however, this year I felt more anxious than anything. It really was hard to push this feeling of anxiety away.

Digging deeper beneath the surface and talking to a couple of friends, I realized that this was due to implicit or direct pressure I felt, to have achieved certain things by a certain age. The pressures of feeling that important goals had not yet been met, fears of how others would judge me, and concerns that I have not yet figured out a way to get to that early retirement!

So, as I usually do in times like this, I decided to step away from it all, withdraw from everyday routine, and do some soul searching. Reboot and reset if you may. During this time of reflecting in solitude, here are some truths I was reminded of:

Progress (is progress no matter how small)

I don't know about you, but I tend to minimize achievements and steps made towards goals, whilst being overly focused on challenges and stumbling blocks. Once you keep going, you are making progress even if it is baby steps. If you did stop, it is never too late to start right back again. About 8 years ago, I trained to run (mainly jog) 5K. This was tough to start off, but I eventually enjoyed the challenge. I then set out to continue training to 10K. I fell off the track and didn't make it.

In 2020 during lockdown, I started all over, and made it to 5K a second time. Again I told myself I would progress to 10k, and once again I fell off the track.

There is nothing wrong with starting over, or also deciding to take up a different sport. The point is having succeeded twice before, this should be a motivation to push myself to the next level. After all, I’m in a better place than I was 8 years ago. Instead, my critical self only sees failed attempts.

I remind myself to pay attention to steps made, no matter how small.

I am a working progress; it is never too late to restart.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”.

Galatian 6:9

Perseverance

In the book of Luke (5:4-7), there is a story of seasoned fishermen who had toiled all night, and yet had not caught anything. Jesus comes along and asks them to cast their net down into the water again. Jesus told them to do the same thing they had been doing just a few hours before in the same place and had not got any result. This was not the rational thing to do. I can relate to how the disciples must have felt at the time, exhausted, skeptical, and demoralized. Putting so much energy, time, and effort into something and not reaping any results. After the instruction, Simon responds that they have done the same thing all night and had not been successful, but at Jesus' word they would let down the nets. When they did this, they reaped a catch of fish so large, that their nets were breaking. They had to call in other boats to help. The difference between having no catch, and a bountiful catch was the word of God and the obedience of the disciples. Now the disciples were not moving in disobedience the night before, and so there is something to be said about God’s timing (for his divine purpose).

It is now my daily prayer to discern the voice God, and to follow in obedience because this is what would make a difference, not necessarily a change in direction. May I be patient in walking in God’s perfect timing in all aspects of life.

“ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink”.

Luke 5:6-7

Purpose

Having sold over 50 million copies in many different languages, one can safely say that the questions raised in a Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, is one that resonates with many of us. We wonder why we are on earth and what our unique purpose is. Knowing that you are walking in purpose, even if the road sometimes has challenges, keeps you going, one step at a time. A couple of years ago, I took part in a spiritual formation class which provided guides around your central integral question (another phrase for God’s given purpose). This involved learning more about my personality, strengths, weaknesses, and gifts that can either draw me closer to my purpose or lead me to drift away.

I find myself to be a natural encourager, and so I need to be intentional about what this looks like on a day to day basis. I need to set routines (rule of life) that would help me make the most of this gift for the benefit of others. I should grow to understand how I behave or withdraw when tired or stressed. This would help me set specific activities to reset and be rejuvenated.

To me, striving to walk in God’s purpose should be more of a marker of success than other things we would typically call out, such as marriage, qualifications, having children, a dream job, or being rich. Certainly these things can be a part of how you get to achieve your purpose but should not be seen as the end goal.

So as we move to the second half of the year, I hope to remind myself of these truths; to remain hopeful, and to be steadfast in the joy and peace of God regardless of the situation.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.

Romans 15:13