A note from 15 year old me

Many a time I come across posts or videos on topics like: "what I wish I'd known 10 years ago", or "what I would tell my younger self". The idea here, is that one has gathered insight, experience and knowledge over the years, and is able to guide or advise others at that age range on what is to come. Today's post isn't that. It is the reverse, delving more into what the younger me had to say.

The other day a friend sent me an old picture of us as teenagers. There was nostalgia, and I reminisced on all that had changed. How I had grown to embrace my personality, and all of life's changes and transitions. I also thought on what still remained the same and true to me over the years. And so I dug up one of my old notebooks (I can officially say this book has survived 2 decades and numerous moves), and found a reflection I had written at the age of 15. I'm not sure I understood the significance of what I wrote, but looking back, this really became a bedrock of how I aimed to live, and continues to be to this day. Whenever I am asked about core values that guide my life, integrity is one of the top three (faith and joy/optimism are the others). Well here is what I had to say about integrity at 15:

Integrity: It is defined as strength or firmness of character. It is the principle of being honest and upright in character. Integrity is one of the things that are dear to God. This is what God said about Job:

Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.” Job 2:3

I ask myself "can God say this about me?" can I be seen as blameless and upright, maintaining integrity even in difficult situations? It is my hope to be seen by God as someone who shuns evil and truly fears God, in both the good and dark times.

Joseph was another character who displayed integrity in the bible. The lesson from his story, is to literally flee from anything that may compromise your integrity, no matter how convenient or alluring it may seem at the time.

But one day, when he went into the house to do his work and none of the men of the house was there in the house, she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house. Genesis 39:11-12

Finally let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no". Do not make a promise and fail. Avoid making vows. There is tragic story in Judges where a warrior made a promise to give up whatever would first come out of his house, should he be victorious in war. Sadly, his only daughter was first to come out of the door on his return home, and he had to stick to the vow he made. The importance of avoiding oaths or vows (because there is a lot that we are not in control off), is also emphasised in the new testament:

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. Matthew 5:37

I cannot say I have achieved perfection since I wrote this at the age of fifteen. But certainly integrity has been a backdrop to many decisions I have made, and I hope to continue to grow in this regard. Like everyone, I falter and have my bad days. But I hope on the days that I fail, I'm able to dust myself off and start again.

I hope to be continually focused on how God sees me, and where my heart is. I pray for wisdom and strength to flee from situations where my integrity may be compromised. I hope to be stronger in my convictions and more eloquent in expressing them to others. That I would remain true to my word and my yes would be yes, and no be no.